What to Do When No One Understands Your Natural Journey

Handstamped bracelet by Deonne Korrow at HoneysuckleRoad

The truth is not everyone in my family 'gets" me.

Not everyone understand this journey I'm on: my quest for a healthier way of life and my need to create warning signals for the rest of the world.  

Some try to hear me.

Some don't care.

Others don't want to hear or care.

And others yet think I'm off my rocker with my constant search for organic/natural first.

For the most part, they just humor me because they dismiss it as my trying to reverse my son's diagnosis (which is not what I'm doing at all - rather, I'm helping him to continuously thrive.)

But, I'm ok with that.  I'm ok with their whispers.  In fact, I respect them for holding to their point of view.

I have had many discussions with family and friends about this, and the usual conclusion from opponents is that we're going to die anyway so why not eat and drink what we want.  

Maybe this is your experience as well.

You have family and friends who just don't get why you're so passionate about wanting to change your eating habits or they don't quite understand why you need to see a naturopath when you already have a doctor.  Or, maybe they're just confused with that new scent you're wearing - the one you so proudly created yourself with essential oils. Maybe they outright make fun of you or use finger quotations around the words "natural" and "organic" when they speak to you.  (I cannot be solely referring to my experiences here, or am I?)

Maybe you're ok with them not "getting" you.  Maybe, you're like me and you've grown a thick skin and have decided not to answer them back but to write about the frustrating situations publicly, like in a blog.

Only, when the people who don't get you are living in your own home (ie: a spouse or children), it becomes really difficult to stay on the path.

I hear you.

In my home, my husband isn't on board with the natural explosion that took place here several years ago.  As much as I try to explain the "why" behind what I do, he continues to want his meat and potatoes and his take-out meals.    And, when it comes to buying organic and natural, he is one of those non-believers.  He won't read what I'm reading about natural living, and he won't ever sit to watch a short film about it either.  I once tried to get him to watch Food Inc. and he walked out halfway through to get to McDonald's drive-through.  I'm not kidding.  

How do we go about living a natural and healthy lifestyle when there are two strongly opposing viewpoints in the same household?

There are several things I do that you might want to try:

1- Children are neutral ground. One thing my husband and I both agree on is the health and well-being of our son.  When it comes to making decisions about what to feed him or what bath products to use and so on, my husband doesn't ask any questions.  He trusts that I know what to choose, so he doesn't ever argue. You might suggest to your significant other that he/she can use the products of their choice for themselves, so long as the children, who are much more vulnerable, use the safe stuff.  A compromise.

2- Sneak them in.  I do the cleaning around here, so it's really easy.  My husband isn't particularly interested in cleaning, so it really doesn't affect him if I use green or pink or silver products.  When he needs to use a cleaning product for some rare occasion (in the garage, for instance), he grabs what we have on hand (which just so happens to be a green, organic product), and he's happy.  I've never once heard him complain that it didn't do the job.  I do the same with organic food.  He doesn't know the difference.

3- Make them see it to believe it.  When my son was sick for the first time, my husband insisted we give Tylenol to rid of the cold.  But, I had been reading, and knew better.  I tested out some herbal remedies to relieve the cold symptoms.  At first, my husband was annoyed by the scent and color and he was sure our son wouldn't accept the tea.  But he did, and my husband witnessed symptoms relieved with his own eyes.  It's been a couple of years since then.  Now, if my son has the sniffles, my husband turns to me in desperation and says, "Give him that stuff." 

4- Sometimes, you just need to freak out - loudly (and using the guilt-trip from time to time doesn't hurt either).  When we first moved to our new home, my husband was really proud of the work he did in the yard.  But, when the weeds starting making their presence the following year (and I was pregnant), he had a plan to get some [illegal] toxic weed killer.  I calmly explained that it's no longer allowed and it didn't matter if he had "connections."   He wouldn't hear it.  Then, I had no choice but to resort to my crazy-lady rant followed by some crying and words something like: "You don't care about your unborn child who will be crawling all over that lawn next year?" and "It's attitudes like that that are ruining future generations!" and I may or may not have said, "You're a planet-killer!"  When he saw how much it meant to me, he listened.  Granted, our lawn looks like a meadow... but at least it's not infested with toxins (plus we get free dandelion leaves, my friends - plenty).

Ok, so that last point might not work with everyone, but you get my drift.

While you want to respect the other, you can consistently make little changes that eventually become part of family life.  Soon enough, there won't be much heavy discussion around the subject, but something that each of you accept and naturally live (pun intended).

And, if you need to go out on a limb and do your own thing for a while, so be it.  I'll be here to guide you.

Do you have family/ friends who just don't "get" you?


Resources for you:

Food Inc.  (If you can manage to get your significant other to sit and watch a documentary without him/her walking off to McD's, this is a great one to start with.)
Food Matters (website - full of healthy information)
Green Goes with Everything (affiliate link to a book you can share with someone willing to read why it's so important to make changes)